AmericanAnDerTU

southern cooking in vienna

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 14:39:00 +0100

A couple of my Austrian friends are coming over for a meal this evening and I have to brag about it because I’ve never done a meal like this before (my girlfriend is the cooking fiend in our house). Tonight’s plan:

Welcoming drinks in the form of Pepper Jacks (my own concoction I came up with at a party one time: Jack Daniels and Dr. Pepper)
Dinner consists of Southern Fried chicken (with fresh ranch dip), succotash and homemade macaroni and cheese - all the recipes I got out of the book in the picture. If you want to have an awesome American cookbook, this is one of the better ones I’ve come across. My girlfriend wanted to have one for our place here in Vienna and the two of us looked at countless books in the store before we found this one.
For dessert I’ve made brownies from my own personal recipe. My brownies are famous at my office in the departments that have tried them, so now whenever I bring in any to work, I always have to make a double batch in order to feed everyone - they’re that good.

Both of my friends coming tonight are also my colleagues and one of them is leaving at the end of March to begin training to be an aircraft controller and the other is leaving in August to study for a semester at the University of Georgia. Kind of fitting that he gets a taste of the food he’s going to be eating all fall and winter while he’s down in the Deep South.

I wish I had some American beers like SweetWater or a Florida wine or two to keep up the Southern flavor. As it is, I’ve got organic beer from Salzburg and red and white wines from Burgenland. Really looking forward to this evening and hoping that it does go as well as I intend.

This is why no one takes the train

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 20:01:16 +0100

As I said in my recent post, my father is coming to Europe. He’s going to be spending a few days in Vienna, but I would also like to go and visit him during his trip while he’s in Germany. Since I’m in Europe, I can actually take a look at what it costs to take the train because sometimes the train can be significantly cheaper than a plane - just depends on when you’re planning on traveling.

Since I’m not going to be traveling during the holiday season (I’ll be looking to travel during April), there aren’t really any special deals going on. I also don’t have one of those cards that you pay for so you can travel cheaper with either the Austrian ÖBB or the German DB (the two train companies), so this is a pure price comparison.

The tickets to fly to either Stuttgart or Berlin are about €115, give or take a few euro, and that price includes my return ticket to Vienna and is with either German Wings, Austrian Airlines or Air Berlin/Fly Niki - all the airlines were within a few euro of each other, so from there it’s really taste, I suppose.

The price from ÖBB? €126 to Stuttgart, one-way! To Berlin? Not much better: €129. Again, one-way! My first thought: “It’s no wonder that ÖBB is slowly going under…” I didn’t even bother asking what the return ticket would cost me but it honestly would not have surprised me had the man on the telephone (their website wouldn’t give me the price, I actually had to call…) asked me for my first-born child. I just thanked him and hung up.

I headed over to the DB website to see if maybe they had a better price. Not likely considering they’re using the same tracks and only the trains are likely to be any different, but you never know. At first glance I was quite surprised: an overnight train costs €39 and a train during the day €62! Awesome (and I didn’t even have to call)! Then I realized that this only includes the trip to Stuttgart. When I checked what the return trip would cost and I was offered two prices: approx. €121-101, depending on when I left, for a special savings offer and this required that I be on that train at that time and there was no possibility to change my ticket. The normal ticket is twice the price, so no chance in hell of that. But then just looking at the price to get back is more than the price to fly there and back with the PLANE.

Quite the little underhanded tactic - show me a great price to get me in the door and then slap me in the face with the other half of the trip. I hate it when companies do this, I don’t care who they are. I’d much rather you be up front with customers or potential customers rather than pulling a bait and switch.

It really doesn’t surprise me that trains are dying. Sure, planes pollute more, but when I can get to my destination in an eighth of the time at less than half the price, why would I take the train? If the train was cheaper, though, I could certainly imagine taking the train. It’s nice to see the countryside from the window of a train, there’s no airport security and I don’t have to worry about crashing, but really, when you want to charge me that much and you take that long to get me there, I’d rather deal with airport security and take my chances with the plane.

(image courtesy of Kleine Zeitung)

My American shopping list

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 10:22:29 +0100

My dad is coming for a visit before he heads off on a business trip that has him travelling throughout Europe, so that means I get to stock up on all the stuff from home I normally bring back on my own. Whenever an American friend flies home, all his/her friends here in Vienna all hand over a shopping list of things they want. It’s tradition. I’ve not been home in a year now (today a year ago was the day I flew home to surprise my parents) and my friends that have been home recently never got a list from me, so now my dad’s going to have to stock up for me. Here are some of my favorite things to smuggle into Austria:

Old Spice Red Zone “After Hours” - my favorite deodorant. If I ever want Old Spice, I have to travel to Eastern Europe to buy it and even then I can’t get exactly what I want - only normal Old Spice and the various scents they have. Still great stuff, but no where near as great as Red Zone.
Reese’s Pieces - I’ve been eating this little candy for my entire life. Every one knows I love peanut butter and combining it with chocolate and making it portable? I’m there! Peanut Butter M&M’s can piss off, this is the OG peanut butter candy.
Butterfinger - Anyone who remembers the early days of “The Simpsons” most certainly remembers the old Butterfinger commercials with Bart Simpson as the spokesman. “Don’t lay a finger on my Butterfinger!”
Ballcap Washer - this isn’t something that I’ve ever ordered before, but they’re impossible to find here in Austria. Need to get Dad to bring a few of these for me and friends.
Lollipop sticks - my girlfriend is requesting these now so she can experiment with “cake pops”. Another one we’ve never bought before but been meaning to for a while…
Vanilla Extract - we ran out when I made my last batch of brownies and need to get a few more bottles this time around.
Taco Bell seasoning - we usually buy a few assorted packages for when we do Mexican food nights and anyone that has been at our place for Mexican night (burritos, tacos, fajitas, enchiladas - we do it all) knows how awesome this stuff is.
Ranch dressing mix - there’s nothing like Ranch dressing and making it yourself is the best. I’m sure that there are some awesome recipes to make it from scratch, so maybe we’ll have to try that out one day and cut the cord with Hidden Valley.
Honey Mustard - again, probably could make it ourselves but it’s just so damned good straight out of the bottle. Lots of great memories connected to it. Outback Steakhouse has the absolute best, though, so I need to try one of these recipes the next time I make fried chicken.
Jack Daniel’s Barbecue Sauce - oh look, another bottle of American sauce. You say that at first, but until you’ve tried it, you have no idea. This stuff will make anything taste better and I mean anything.

Obviously there is a lot of junk food and sauces and stuff, but hey, you can’t bring a basket of Georgia peaches with you in a suitcase, can you? ;)

When I retire

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 22:09:09 +0100

I know exactly what I’m going to be doing in my old age and I can’t wait:

I want to be a dirty old man. I always remembered the laughs that old guys would get when they hit on chicks in their 20s. When you’re old, you can say whatever you want and it’s hilarious.
Go to retail stores and ask stupid questions. Not simply stupid questions, though - I want to get the teenager talking to me to cock his head to the side and look at me like I’m a fucking Martian. Shit like, “Excuse me, but if I turn the TV off, how do I turn it back on?” You think I’m kidding? I’ve heard crap like this. You cannot be that stupid on accident, that has to be on purpose. I want to be that old guy. Gotta keep the tradition alive, amirite?
Drive slow on the road. I know I’ll be driving well into my old age and I’m sure I’ll still be a good driver, too, so I want to be the old guy that just moves at a crawl. Then just when I’m about to get passed, step on the gas and keep going at a normal pace. The look of that mixture of anger and surprise is nothing short of priceless.

Nokia Lumia 800 review

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 18:48:40 +0100

Now that I’ve gotten to play with the Lumia 800 for a few weeks, I think I’m qualified to make a few observations on not only the hardware itself but also Windows Phone 7 as a platform. Let’s talk about the hardware itself first, though.

When you open the box of your Lumia 800, sitting right on top is your device and when you take it in the hand for the first time, you’ll notice that while it isn’t made of aluminum, it most certainly isn’t cheap plastic. I’ve never been disappointed by Nokia hardware when it comes to build quality and they certainly didn’t just design any piece of trash when they made this device. The case is a single piece of polycarbonate and this is an excellent material to make a phone from: if you scratch it, it doesn’t matter because the dye itself is a part of the plastic and not just sprayed on. The material also gives the phone that same feeling you get with the soft-touch rubber that you find on the backs of other phones and on some laptops. In the box you’ll also find a rubber sleeve for the phone in case you want a case. The screen is Gorilla Glass, so don’t ever worry about getting scratches in the display. I never used the case myself, but it’s nice to see Nokia put one in there for those that wanted one. Considering that WP7 itself is still very new and Nokia controls only but a fraction of the smart phone space, you likely won’t be finding much in the way of accessories any time soon, anyway. You also get a set of headphones (seriously, though, Nokia, no in-ear headphones in 2012?), a USB cable and a USB-to-AC adapter.

Looking at the top of the phone you have a headphone jack and two doors that can be opened: one for the USB jack and the other for the micro-SIM card. Along the right side you have four buttons that control volume, lock and turn the phone on and a shutter button for the camera. I’m not too crazy about the power/lock button because I found myself pressing it all the time in my pocket by accident. Nokia did a sliding switch on the C6 (Symbian) that I won from A1 a while ago and it was really nice. It’s not that much of a gripe, though, but it’s just a little niggle. I’m not too crazy about the power/lock button on my LG Optimus 3D or my girlfriend’s Nexus S, so clearly I’m a bit picky and hard to please here. Aside from the two doors and the four buttons, that’s all you get in terms of the case.

Once you turn the phone on you’ll be prompted to select your language and locale settings, put in your Windows Live ID if you have one and also create a Nokia ID (if you don’t already have one). The phone is a really snappy piece of kit – the only time I experienced any lag was when using apps downloaded from the Marketplace and after talking to a developer on Twitter for one of those apps, he/she said it was due to the lack of optimizations for Mango for his app (and I’m assuming this carries over to other apps). The home screen has all the basics already set up and ready to go, just put in your email information and you’re good to go.

Next I’d like to talk about the software. Nokia delivers the phone with a few of their own applications that really should be included on all WP7 devices, but this device isn’t only the WP7 flagship for Nokia but in my opinion the flagship for all WP7 phones.

I’m entirely new to the WP7 environment, though, so take that last statement with a grain of salt. I’ve admittedly never used a WP7 phone before at any length; I’ve only watched others use them and played with the offerings from Samsung and HTC in stores. The interface itself is very natural to use and in my opinion, the easiest of any other smartphone. Android does have a certain amount of complexity to it that has become easier with 4.0 and iOS is also extremely simple but it doesn’t have the natural flow that WP7 offers.

Since the OS itself is still very new, it’s lacking a great deal in terms of what applications are available for download. There is still a large amount of them in the Marketplace, but when the majority of applications only have a few reviews to each one, it’s evidently apparent that WP7 has not reached the market share that Android or iOS have. I remember this when I first bought my HTC Magic back in 2009 but the offerings will grow as the user base grows. Microsoft has also been very aggressive in bringing developers into the fold and this partnership with Nokia will only help them grow their market share. It is a bit strange that there is no Skype application for WP7 given that Skype now belongs to Microsoft, but apparently this will be changing soon (and Skype will also have deeper integration with the OS itself in the future).

The notification system is very different here in comparison to Android or iOS, however. Push notifications for apps are still a new feature that hasn’t been fully integrated in all apps apparently (correct me if I’m wrong); the official Twitter app doesn’t even have push notifications enabled. A lot of apps seem to show notifications by just popping up a little icon on the lock screen (the top bar of the display remains almost exclusively black when using the phone, presenting the user with zero information and this took quite a bit of getting used to) and/or taking advantage of the live tiles to show you that something new had arrived. The live tiles are really one of the shining features of the OS, just like Android’s widgets. I would say that it’s probably just as good as push notifications, so long as you have a tile attached to the start screen, otherwise a push notification would be nice. The OS is new, though, so who knows what we’ll see, especially once the next generation Apollo is released later this year.

All in all, the phone is a tight little package. If you’d like to see photo quality and perhaps get some more technical details, there are plenty of other reviews out there. In my next blog entry I’m going to talk about the migration from Android to Windows Phone. It’s not as seamless as I was led to believe and left me with quite a few head scratchers.

I’d like to end the blog with a few thank yous: Fabian Lebersorger from Grayling, for getting in touch with me and inviting me to the Nokia World Vienna press event;Stephanie Urbanski from Nokia for answering all my questions at the event and making sure along with Fabian that I got a test device; the person running theRowi Twitter account for explaining a few things to me about WP7 (this was also my favorite Twitter app for WP7 – it’s a bit rough around the edges but apparently a large update is coming soon that will add a ton of features that other clients already have and some that others don’t, be sure to check it out and buy the pro version).

Why are computer scientists so often so filthy?

Wed, 09 Nov 2011 13:54:05 +0100

This is something I’ve been struggling to understand since I’ve been studying here at the Vienna University of Technology. There seems to be amongst the most hardcore of the computer scientist students, namely those studying software engineering, a great disregard for personal hygiene. I mean, I know when you’re on a hardcore studying binge that certain things might be ignored and only the most basic things paid attention. Some of the people that I’ve met and seen, however, absolutely have no idea what things like a toothbrush, deodorant or even soap are.

Today, for instance, I was in a lecture today and one guy sat next to me and was absolutely vile. His smell almost made me retch, his teeth looked as if they hadn’t been cleaned in days and he still had food from his last meal around his mouth. Not a week ago I tweeted about the stench in one of my classes that is primarily taken my computer scientists (we business informatics students are in a very small minority) and a number of folks agreed with me.

No one has ever been able to answer the question for me: why are computer scientists so often, so damned filthy?

"Kürbiskernöl" or "The Black Oil of the Gods"

Thu, 03 Nov 2011 23:47:45 +0100

Kürbiskernöl (don’t worry if you can’t pronounce it, it took me a while when I was first learning German) is a culinary delight from Styria (Steiermark in German), a province in the southeast corner of this backward country I call home. I’m not going to go on and tell you what it is other than an oil made from a specific variety of pumpkin native to the region. If you want to know any more about it, click the link and you can read the Wikipedia article. What I’m going to write here is a tribute to this gift from the gods.

If you’ve never tried it before, you absolutely must. A true Austrian restaurant should always ask you if you would like Kürbiskernöl on your salad and if they don’t, call the police and say that the restaurant is infested with rats and get that shithole shut down. Should you reply to the question of whether or not you want Kürbiskernöl with anything other than something in the affirmative, go ahead and throw yourself in front of oncoming traffic and let me have your salad for you.

Oh, you must be exaggerating. No oil can possible be this good, especially one you simply on a salad. How wrong you are, silly mortal. The first time you try it, I will not guarantee you like it but after you get used to the taste if you do anything but fall in love, you surely have no soul. The oily thickness. The Kürbiskernöly taste. It defies words. I’m really not trying to sound like some fanboi out after the latest Apple iWhatever, it really cannot be described. Wikipedia will tell you it has a nutty taste, which is certainly true, but it cannot really be described. It’s like sex. Sure, you can figure out the mechanics of it, but you never know what it’s like until you’ve tried it. And just like sex after that first orgasm, once you’ve tried it, you’re hooked.

The best part about it, however, is that you can put it on anything and instantly make it light years ahead of whatever it was before you put Kürbiskernöl on it. Vanilla ice cream? Prepare to have your world rocked. A plate of fries? Fuck you, ketchup, take your shit back to Malaysia. I mean this: putting it on anything instantly makes it better.

Like anything truly great, there are unfortunately some negative aspects (but so does sex, ever heard of VD?). If you get it on your clothes, it’s nigh impossible to get out. There is only one trick that always works: do not wash it, simply place the garment in direct sunlight for a number of hours. The oil will disappear leaving your garment as you had it. It’s also notoriously expensive. Buying it anywhere outside of Styria will cost you a bit of coin but if you know a Styrian (chances are you do or you know someone that does), get them to buy a bottle for you. Every Styrian has a hookup to get it on the cheap. It’s like weed in that respect. Everyone knows someone. If your Styrian contact says they don’t have a connection, beat the ever living hell out of them until they give in to your demands - they ALWAYS have a hook up.

At my office, they have a few liters of Kürbiskernöl along with other dressings. Which container needs to be refilled the most? You bet your sweet ass - the Kürbiskernöl one. Best part is that it’s free and I get to drown my salads in the stuff with abandon. Today I had a particularly divine concoction in my salad bowl and as I was eating it, I realized I put A LOT of oil on my salad this time. It was something along the lines of “You want some salad with that Kürbiskernöl?” but you know what? It only made it better. Granted, I probably put too much but it was exquisite. I could have achieved the same taste with less (did I just admit there is such a thing as too much Kürbiskernöl?) but it’s just so g’damn good.

The next time you’re at the store, make sure you get a quality bottle if you’re one of the unlucky few that don’t know their own Styrian. If you’re just visiting, bring a few bottles home. Who knows when you’ll get back to Austria again? Get yourself some of that epic godly nectar, you won’t regret it.

Presentation is key (K'Naan as an example)

Wed, 31 Aug 2011 18:02:09 +0200

One of the things that I love about going to concerts is that if you have a real artist playing in front of you, the art will always be presented differently each time. Presentation is key with all things in life - think about how products are presented nowadays. If you don’t do it right or get people excited, no one is going to care.

There’s a moment in my life from last year that I really treasure. I got to go to K’Naan’s concert here in Vienna right after the World Cup and it was one of the single coolest experiences and perhaps the best concert I’ve ever been to. It was in a small place called Club Szene that fit maybe a few hundred at best - a really intimate venue. Best of all I was right in the middle in front of the “visual stenographer” himself.

I’m sure most people know K’Naan for the song “Waving Flag” that he did for Coca Cola during the World Cup (a song so successful that more people thought IT was the official song for the games rather than Shakira’s track). I heard the song and really liked it but it wasn’t until I heard the album version and got my hands on K’Naan’s original material and his newest album that I really fell in love with his music. Once you’ve heard the album version and listened to the lyrics and then also seen him perform live, the other two versions that get the radio airplay don’t even compare… Let me show you…

This version from the Vienna concert isn’t the best, but this is how it starts. Below are other videos that continue the song that are of a better quality.

Now wasn’t that just touching? You’ll see in the comments I left in the video - I cried a bit during the song. The performance itself was a bit longer than in the videos and to listen to him live tell his stories and the atmosphere… simply wow. Here’s the album version:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znVB25YFZiQ (embedding disabled - for whatever reason)

Keep what you’ve heard above in your mind and listen to the Coca Cola version:

Now the Coca Cola version isn’t bad. It lacks the touching lyrics of the album version, but I can get why they made the changes they did. It’s understandable. Up next, however, is the absolute WORST version… The upcoming version embodies all that is wrong with mainstream music and the destruction that can be wrought when something becomes popular and is chewed up by the industry to make it for the masses. The album version itself was perfectly fine and with a tasteful video could have been made into an excellent release. Instead we get this piece of trash (sorry to K’Naan or anyone affiliated with him, I’m pretty sure you guys had nothing to do with this).

Glenn Beck is a fool (and so are the Teabaggers)

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 21:14:23 +0200

Every now and again I like to look at Tea Party opinion leaders and have a laugh (and sometimes the occasional heart attack) at the idiocy that they typically spew but this time it’s getting a bit much. I’ve been working at a financial position for the past two months and have learned quite a bit how credit markets work. Whenever I see or hear someone talking about something they clearly know zero about, then it usually requires a lot of self control on my part to keep my mouth shut. It’s not one of my best qualities… I read this post over on Glenn Beck’s blog today and this really got to me…

Here’s Glenn talking about a downgrade from Moody’s on US debt…

The fact is Moody’s has already warned us that no one has put a plan on the table that comes close to solving our long-term problem. Moody’s will downgrade us. This could happen tomorrow, in six months or maybe a year from now, but at some point in the near future it’s going to happen. And it’s going to hurt. So we must be prepared.

What’s funny is that the S&P downgrade hardly affected the Treasury bond market at all. The demand for US Treasurys (or Treasuries; if anyone can tell me why with this word there is no consensus, I’d appreciate it) actually increased. At the end of the day, the American economy is the safest place. The government will never default on its debt. As moronic and pigheaded as American Congressmen and -women can be, they know that they can’t let the US default. Or let me put it like this: the chances of the US ever defaulting is next to none. The bond markets often rate a company or a country on their own - the agencies react slower than markets, it’s that simple.

Imagine your credit card’s interest rates constantly rising. Imagine high inflation eating away at your savings accounts, retirement funds and salary — if you’re lucky enough to have one these days. Imagine the interest rate on your mortgage rising and compounding until there was no hope of escaping debt. Imagine that fewer and fewer people are willing to lend you any money as your credit rating takes a dive.

If you’re actually paying debt off on a credit card at a significant amount, you are an idiot. I’m sorry to say it, but seriously, you’re an idiot. Learn some basic financing. Get on the Internet and take five minutes to educate yourself. I don’t recall credit card interest rates being variable on any of my cards I had back in the USA, though, so I somewhat doubt one should see credit card interest rates rise on existing debt. It’s been over five years since I actually read a credit card contract. I’ve also never let interest build on a credit card balance (pay it off before the deadline, people, it’s not hard) and it’s been over four years since I used a credit card.

Anyone with a variable interest rate mortgage that hasn’t refinanced and gotten that rate fixed is also on their own. Sorry, but this is another case of a short phone call with your lender or a trip to their office. Variable interest rates are also usually always a bad idea when you’re a private citizen unless interest rates are sky high and they’re not. If you don’t have a good credit score and you want a house, improve your score and then buy a house. Seriously. If you don’t have the money, don’t buy the house. That’s part of the reason we had the financial meltdown in 2007 that we did.

Those food stamps and green-energy boondoggles Democrats say we can’t live without? Forget it. We won’t be able to afford them.

Clearly Beck doesn’t think much of green energy. No surprise, though. It’s really a shame, however - if the US were to invest in green technologies as a country, that’s a market with plenty of growth that could be creating A LOT of jobs. Things need to be built, sold and marketed. It’s an industry that is still widely untapped in the United States. Certainly costs are high, but with zero interest loans (like here in Austria) from the government to support people investing, costs would come down. There are so many ways to get this ball rolling and Europe has already done a lot of the work. Just copy and paste.

After all, who’s going to send billions in weapons to Egypt’s military regime to help it quell the “democratic” Arab street when we can’t even pay the janitors at the IRS office space?

I really don’t know if Beck is trying to be sarcastic here. If he wants to keep supporting another military regime, though, maybe he should head over there and offer handjobs…

The rest of the blog after that last quote is little more than partisan bashing on the Democrats with a smattering on mainstream Republicans and not really worth reading. This last bit is worth addressing, though.

You cannot spend more than you earn. You cannot run up the largest credit card bill in human history. You want more revenue? Stop chasing income earners overseas by threatening them with higher taxes, stop inflating their energy costs and stop punishing them with never-ending regulations. Mr President, put down your socialist mop! Stop with the Cloward and Piven floor wax.

And then balance the budget, cut back the spending and reform entitlements.

Beck is right - you cannot spend more than you earn. If the majority of the American public followed this simple logic with their own personal finances, there would likely have never been a recession. Unfortunately they don’t and there was. The same is true of the USA. You can’t spend more than you’re earning. The sad fact is, however, is that taxes are the lowest they’ve ever been in the United States. Obama extended the Bush tax cuts and took away another chance of at least maybe trying to hack away at the deficit and the debt. Unfortunately he caved and let the Republicans have what they want.

You find this a lot in the United States, though, especially in the South: if it is socialism, it is instantly evil and must be communist. For fuck’s sake… the Cold War has been over for twenty years and we’re not living in the 1950s anymore. Look at the countries in the world with the highest quality of life: they’re all a mix of socialist and capitalist ideologies and they’re mostly all in Europe. It is beyond my understanding why Americans cannot look at Europe and envy the life of the average European and not want to have the same things.

Cutting regulation and taxes doesn’t instantly make the economy better. It’s been proven that Reaganomics do not work. There is no perfect trickle down of wealth. Jobs aren’t created by the millions. Humans are greedy, backstabbing creatures and sometimes we need to realize this and protect ourselves from ourselves.

Austroversary No. 4

Sat, 02 Jul 2011 22:41:00 +0200

Today marks four years to the day since I’ve moved to Austria (my fourth “Austroversary” - thanks Ally!). What a ride it has been thus far. In the past four years I learned the German language after not having been able to speak a word of it, restarted my university career at the Vienna University of Technology and met a lot of new people along the way.

It’s impossible for me to try and compress this journey into a single thought, but I can sum it up in a single word: wow. Before I moved to Austria I had never lived on my own before so having to do all of that on my own and survive in a foreign country was heavy business. Thankfully I had two awesome friends to help me out and since then I’ve been able to help out others that have found themselves in a similar situation. It’s most certainly not an easy thing to do but I can say that I am proud to have done it.

The funny thing is that during high school I never wanted to really study abroad or even leave the USA. A lot of friends talked about how they wanted to do all these things after graduation but none of them did it. It wasn’t until college in the USA that I thought about doing a semester abroad but then I saw what kinds of costs were involved and it was way too expensive for me. After two years of that and talking to my Australian friend that was living in Vienna at the time, I decided to make the move. I’d heard how cheap Austria was and I have family here so I figured I’d try it for a semester or two and learn German. Now I’ve been here for four years. Wow, right?

I remember my first day of German class perfectly. I was really nervous but also really excited. In our class we had people from Africa, Asia, eastern Europe, the Middle East - pretty much every major area of the world was represented in our class. It was exhilarating. One of the first friends I made in that class spoke only broken English and I didn’t speak her native Serbian, but it didn’t matter. What we couldn’t say in English we said in German. Wow, right? Great stuff.

After two and a half semesters of German classes I decided I was ready to take the entrance exam for the university to prove that I was fluent in German. Took the written test and scored a perfect mark and then did the oral exam and was nearly perfect there, too. I’m sorry, but I have to brag here: From over sixty students, less than thirty passed the written exam and were allowed to take the oral exam and I was the only one of them with a perfect mark. I finished up my last semester of German classes and then had a month off to prepare for my first day in a proper university class.

I remember trying to figure out the outdated and confusing system that the university was still using at the time and had to get a friend of a friend who studied there to help me make sense of it. After that I thought I would never be able to survive - I couldn’t even figure out how the website worked! It wasn’t until after a few weeks I found out that pretty much everyone had the same problems I had, so that was nice.

My first day was a math class. For the Austrians it was boring but for me it was actually difficult stuff - I had never done math like that in high school so I had a steep learning curve in order to keep up. That was another day where I was sweating bullets I was so nervous. Most foreigners don’t manage to pass but one or two classes in their first semester at an Austrian university but I managed four - I remember getting my first passing grade back, it was a real feeling of empowerment. Took the test in German, wrote my answers in German (even though I could do it in English) and got a perfect mark. That was all the proof I needed that I wasn’t going to be giving up any time soon.

Now I’ve been at the university since March of 2009 and I just completed another semester and I’m just over half way finished with my degree. I’ve also gotten my first internship at a large Austrian financial institute in this semester that I’ll be starting on the 4th of July (American Independence Day - ironic, right?).

The past year has been the best, though. Since I’ve gotten heavily involved with Twitter I’ve made nothing but Austrian (and the odd German here and there) friends, a feat that many expats struggle to accomplish in Vienna for some reason. Almost every aspect of my life is done in German and it’s often difficult for me to figure out the proper word in English but I know the German word instantly.

I have no idea what the future holds for me, but I can’t wait to see what I’ve got coming my way. Like I said, it’s been one helluva ride thus far and every day is a new experience. I suppose this is what it feels like to be a child, discovering something new about the world everyday. What a rush.

us vs austria v: strip clubs

Sun, 29 May 2011 23:45:00 +0200

I’m not someone who goes to strip clubs very much (only went a few times in the United States), but they are a part of male culture around the world. In the United States an eighteenth birthday is often celebrated best with your first visit to the strip club. Now you may ask yourself, “Austria has strip clubs, too. How can dancing naked women/men be different from each country?” Easy. How do you tip your strippers in Austria?

In the United States you could almost say that the $1 bill was invented for strip clubs. It’s a nearly pointless piece of currency and one that most countries in the world have reduced to a mere coin so as not to take up so much room in one’s wallet. Why do the Americans still resist on getting rid of that annoying piece of cotton? Simple. Strip clubs. You could obviously tip a stripper in any bill, but the $1 is perfect. It’s cheaper than $20, that’s for sure, and it’s easily available in plentiful supply. I once worked at a grocery store and one of my colleagues asked me twice in a day to change a $20 bill out for twenty $1 bills. When he brought me the second $20 bill, I asked him, “Goin to the titty bar?”. Him: “Yea, how’d you know?” I never said he was bright…

Now look at Austria and all of the other Eurozone countries. The smallest bill you have is €5 and at the current exchange rate, that works out to be nearly $8 USD. How can you experiment with all the different ways to tip a stripper if you have to do it in €5 bills? That’s going to be a short night for most people. In the United States the same money would give you so many ways to tip you’d run out of ideas before you ran out of bills. It is financially impossible to make any night of the week into an affordable yet amusing trip to your local gentlemen’s club.

Sorry chums, but when it comes down to gettin dirrty, America in this respect has got you Europeans beat cold.

Austria - 3 and US - 2 … we’re catching up.

My thoughts on bin Laden's death

Tue, 03 May 2011 12:53:30 +0200

I was asked yesterday morning to write about my thoughts on bin Laden’s death. Originally I had never intended on doing so, I figured a short discourse about it on Twitter would have been enough, but after hearing that request I gave it some more thought.

How do I feel about bin Laden’s death? I personally do not know anyone that died in any of al Qaeda’s attacks, but I have not only an uncle and a brother but also many friends that have been to Afghanistan and Iraq (not that bin Laden and Iraq were ever connected, but you know what I mean) in combat roles because of his actions against the United States. I am not going to celebrate his death and dance around in the streets like many of my countrymen have done back home, but I’m certainly not going to lose any sleep or shed a tear over his death.

It would have been nice to capture bin Laden, but according to an anonymous official, that was never intended with this operation (search in Google “intended to capture bin Laden” but beware of malware sites). I suppose bin Laden never would have ever been able to stand in front of any court in the world with the exception of perhaps the ICC and receive a “fair” trial, but it still would have been nice to have him walked out of his house in handcuffs and paraded in front of the world. That’s not terribly humane or nice, perhaps, but neither is being directly responsible for the deaths of thousands of people.

I am happy that he’s gone, though. Whether or not his death will have the crippling effect that some theorize still has yet to be seen, but many experts say al Qaeda is already severely weakened and an internal power struggle will only weaken it further. Maybe it will galvanize a new Islamist movement. Who knows? I’m not an expert by any means and only read as much as I can about topics that interest me and try to read many opinions so I can form my own. Hopefully the death of bin Laden will cripple the global al Qaeda organization, but if there is one thing I have learned in my reading, Islamism is a hydra. If you cut off one head, there are only going to be many more to come forward and replace it. The same goes with any form of extremism. Military action isn’t going to solve the problem at all, however; it’s going to take a combination of efforts on all possible fronts to combat extremism.

To sum it up: I’m not overjoyed he’s dead, I’m not sad - I’m content.

A few weeks in stars (April 11 - May 2)

Tue, 03 May 2011 12:02:12 +0200

Seeing as how I haven’t been terribly active on Twitter for the past few weeks in all (only again in the past few days), I haven’t gotten to read a lot of tweets and therefore not a lot of favorites. The past few days have been good, though, so I thought I would just throw it all into one big pot for right now…

@digiom
Vienna University of Technology has got… wtf? https://www.ads.tuwien.ac.at via @iossif #logofail

@fatmike182
Is that a root in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? Sex.xxx, porn.xxx und xxx.xxx rooten schon

@skoops
für risiken und nebenwirkungen fressen sie die packungsbeilage und schlagen sie ihren arzt oder apotheker (For risks and side effects, eat the information sheet and beat your doctor or pharmacist - this is a play on the standard phrase in German)

@billdawes
CENSUS FACT: Americans eat 110 lbs of red meat a year! Wow, that’s the equivalent of eating 2 Olsen twins or 1 of Kirstie Alley’s cankles.

@kellythul
Is a dual screen tablet a clamlet?

@ispeakswag
“I’m not on Facebook” is the new “I don’t own a TV”.

@NickKristof
Hm. Will Trump demand to see the long-form death certificate?

@jesus
Sorry, you’re at the wrong gate, Osama.

@billmaher
Somali pirates, Gaddafi’s son, now bin Laden - do NOT fuck with Obama, he’s Gangsta!!

@billdawes
Donald Trump attacks Obama. Suddenly, Osama is killed the same night “Celebrity Apprentice” is on the air. Coincidence? I think not.

A Week in Stars (Apr 4 - Apr 10)

Tue, 12 Apr 2011 12:02:02 +0200

@Modern_Redneck
Atari 2600 finally hooked up to 55” TV. Those little tanks are awesome at this size.

@peshkira
@AmericanAnDerTU lol… seriously.. I wish I had your problems ;)

@filos
when the best actors are chosen by other actors, it’s called Oscars. When the best actors are chosen by the people, it’s called an election

@filos
After the 5th pitch email in one month,I replied: “Congratulations, you just won the “I really want to sell you something” badge on Twimbow”

@vliconaleash
Wurscht wird eh ein 5er. (whatever, it’s an F anyway)

@dkitzmueller
RT @hokl: “Pandas are the most ridiculous animals: They are almost extinct, but they don’t want to breed.” - Mikkel deMib Svendsen

@billdawes
Charlie Sheen’s Chicago show is starting! Hitler kept the trains running on schedule & Sheen is keeping the trainwrecks running on schedule.

@littleliongirl
alkoholfreies bier ist für mich immernoch eines der grössten mysterien dieser welt. (Alcohol-free beer is one of the biggest mysteries of the world.)

@billdawes
Heard a fat girl complaining a guy was “undressing her with his eyes.” My theory is that he was just giving her more layers.

@billdawes
Paris Hilton recently said, “There’s nothin like me, I’m the original.” Hm, I’m betting there were lots of talentless, dumb sluts before her

A week in stars (Mar 28 - Apr 3)

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 19:48:20 +0200

This one is coming REALLY late, but I’ve been busy as hell with university for the past few days.

@filos
A friend said “Wow, Chrome is now 11, Firefox only 4… Google is way faster!”… no comment.

@RolandGiersig
Wann kommt endlich mal die Meldung: “110 Tote, Gott sei Dank nur Männer!” statt “110 Tote, darunter Frauen und Kinder” (When is there finally going to be the line: “110 dead, thank God only Men!” instead of “110 dead, among them women and children.”)

@DorisChristinaS
Ach, der PC hat gar kein Anzeigenproblem. Ich hatte bloß die Kontaktlinsen vertauscht. (The PC doesn’t have any display problems, I just had my contact lenses in wrong.)

@littleliongirl
whoever thought it would be a good idea to bring some hardcore smelling cheese into the bus: wait until i find you…

@lalelu93
Ein Spermium enthält 37,5 MB DNA-Daten. Eine Ejakulation entspricht einem Datentransfer von 1500 TB in 3 Sek. Und ihr denkt DSL sei schnell. (A sperm has 37.5MB of data. Therefore a single ejaculation has a data transfer rate of 1500TB in 3 seconds. And you thought DSL was fast.)

@skoops
I put the sensual in nonconsensual

@Modern_Redneck
Sweaty butt and frozen nose. Heated seats aren’t always pleasant.

@FakeAPStylebook
While it’s tempting to call them “baristi” because of the Italian roots, the plural of “barista” is “journalism majors.”

@JennyJohnsonHi5
If your key ring is full of keychains with clever sayings, plus a stick filled with glittery water, I know you had a baby in high school.

@PaulyPeligroso
Ladies: A great way to get followers is to post smart, funny and interesting tweets. Or have a picture of your tits as your profile pic.

@Modern_Redneck
Person in front of me buying toilet paper, lawn chair, and Vaseline. Impulse buys?

Why the EU pisses me off

Sun, 03 Apr 2011 16:24:00 +0200

The EU really pisses me off sometimes. Not because they cater to big industry or because the system is so murky and few citizens of the EU actually understand its goings-on. No, that doesn’t bother me. Firstly, I’m not an EU citizen so I don’t really have much room to bitch and moan. Secondly, I don’t care. Third, the EU has done quite a number of great things that outweigh the bad, I think, but I digress…

No, there is one single thing that the EU has done that pisses me off more than anything else. It’s a violation that is so grievous, so heinous, so despicable that the perpetrators should be brought up on human rights violations or something equally outlandish and shocking. What is it that the EU has done to do such a fine job of pissing me off? They lowered the fucking borders between member countries!

It was always a childhood dream of mine to own a passport. I got my first passport when I was five years old when I visited Austria and Germany for the first time. My next passport was issued to me when I was about seventeen or so in preparation for my trip to Austria in 2005 that was part of my high school graduation present. I had dreamed of traveling through Europe after that and collecting stamps in the numerous pages of my little blue book. Unfortunately I didn’t have the foresight at the time to read up on the EU and its laws before flying to Austria - I was too busy doing nothing in my senior year of high school.

Only after I had set foot in the city of music that is Vienna and traveled to Castles Country (Burgenland) that I discovered the EU was systematically dismantling the borders between its member countries. Thankfully I drove to Hungary at one point and got two stamps (entering and leaving) there. In 2007, after I moved to Austria, I knew that some of the borders were still standing and it might be possible to collect a few from the former Commies before the EU decided to step all over my childhood dream yet again. I got to fly to England that summer and collected the necessary stamps in my book then, an event that put a huge grin on my face whenever I paged through my passport to admire the cheap ink.

The morning that I flew home for Christmas that year, however, one of CNN’s sexy talking heads (you notice how CNN International has all the babes and CNN USA gets the dogs?) was blathering on about how Poland, the Czech Republic, Slovakia, Slovenia and Hungary were all lowering their borders with the EU and I realized I had been foiled yet again. Another childhood dream trampled upon by the man.

I’ve looked at my father’s old passport and seen the stamps he’s collected from driving around western Europe and it was so great to see them all there. It reminded me of the movie European Vacation, one of my favorite movies, where the family also gets to travel through Europe and collect stamps.

That was always something magical for me: driving or flying in a short distance in virtually any direction and ending up in a country with an entirely different language and culture. An experience like that for an American is hard to come by. The best we have is Canada and Mexico and let’s face it - that’s BORING. Now my only option for such an adventure is either Africa or Southeast Asia. Hopefully the African Union doesn’t get any bright ideas and decide to start making trade and travel easier amongst its member countries and their citizens…

Image courtesy of Map of Europe.

A Week in Stars (Mar 21 - Mar 27)

Sun, 27 Mar 2011 23:43:00 +0200

@Paxocha
Wouldn’t it be great if twitter had a roped off VIP section where celebrities could keep their boring tweets to themselves?

@designertalks
You followed someone because you enjoyed their tweets but then unfollowed them when they didn’t follow you back because, you know, your ego.

@akpeach21
My coworker trying to tell me she got a gucci purse for $150 bitch please you can probably get w gucci zipper for $150

@robinwauters
Spammer spams huge press list. Many idiots reply - to all. (PIC)http://post.ly/1mtC8

@Quotes4Writers
“Don’t annoy the writer. They may put you in a book and kill you.” Anonymous

@akpeach21
#winning twitpic.com/4cai3v

@skoops
Dear people of the world, I don’t mean to sound slutty, but please use me whenever you want. Sincerely, Grammar.

@soonup
OH: “Your cell phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969. NASA launched a man to the moon. We launched a bird into pigs.”

@TomEnzi
Wann kapiert ihr endlich, dass Politik nur ein industrielles System schützt und niemals eure Interessen. (Wenn will you all understand that politics only protects an industrial system and never your own interests.)

@minusfortynine
Why did I just retweet that?

@littleliongirl
liebe #univie, FUCK YOU.

@PrinceznaAndrea
googled “ronde suisse” (brioche), found “i pee in pools”. wtf?

@st4rbucks
WARNUNG: Wenn Ihr ein eMail mit dem Betreff “Nacktbild von Angela Merkel” bekommt, nicht öffnen! Es enthält ein Nacktbild von Angela Merkel. (WARNING: If you get an email with the subject “Naked picture of Angela Merkel”, don’t open it! It has a naked picture of Angela Merkel!)

@thesulk
Gotta lotta stuff to do today, so I better go do everything but that stuff.

@BillMc7
Having sex is NOT like riding a bicycle. Unlike women, bicycles don’t refuse to stay in the garage when you’re done riding them.

Should public transport be free?

Mon, 21 Mar 2011 22:49:00 +0100

I had a brief discussion with my friends Florian and Martin on Twitter about whether or not public transport and such should be absolutely free. Unfortunately, given that 140 characters is just not enough to express one’s self (and I was in the middle of class), I decided to write this blog post about it. This way it’s also a bit more public and easier to respond to.

Should public transport be free, though? I would say no. For starters, in a country like Austria where the government already carries a large financial burden in providing many socialized services to its people, I think something like this would be the straw to break the horse’s back. Whenever you increase the services offered by a government, you do inevitably either have to cut funding elsewhere or increase taxes to finance it. Like it or not, things cost money and revenue has to be made somehow.

In Austria, there is an excellent system that helps finance road building. If you do not want to use the highway system (the Autobahn), then you don’t have to pay for it. To be allowed to drive a motor vehicle on the highways, one must buy either an annual pass or one of the various passes that are cheaper, but don’t last as long (for instance if you’re just passing through Austria as a traveler or you’re visiting). In the USA, everyone has to carry the costs of the roads and the Interstate system is federally funded. I would love to see a system such as this implemented across the USA. The way I see it, if I am not profiting from a service such as this, why should I pay for it? On the open market, if you don’t want to pay for a service or good, you don’t have to. I find it very lazy on the part of many governments that they force their citizens to carry certain costs that they really should not be forced to.

That being said, I love the idea of public transport. In Vienna, the public transport is absolutely fantastic and there are only a few exceptions where driving a car in Vienna is faster or more convenient than the trains and buses, but Vienna can still get pretty traffic heavy. Thankfully it’s not as bad as in say, Atlanta, but it can still get a bit crazy. I would love to see the costs of public transport somehow reduced, but I think overall the prices are pretty fair as they are. The annual pass costs just shy of €450 in Vienna, a price I find more than fair. When you think of all the inherent costs of owning a car (maintenance, yearly inspection, insurance, fuel), the public transport in Vienna is far cheaper than say, London.

The only way to make public transport free is if there was a way to impose some kind of tax on the citizens of whatever city or town is making its transport free. There is a huge issue here, though: What about the people that visit Vienna and don’t live here and are not paying this tax at all? Tourists? Business travelers? No, I think the idea of paying for a ticket is more than fair and the perfect way of enforcing a tax on the people that use it and not forcing others to carry the costs of something that for them is irrelevant and holds no value.

(I’m also against punishing someone for owning and/or driving a car by imposing a tax. The “West” is for the most part very open and we have the freedom of choice and those choices, so long as they are not really destructive, should be left free. Plus, let’s face it: taxes on cars in Europe are already high enough.)

Image courtesy of Die Presse

A Tribute to the Zangief Kid

Mon, 21 Mar 2011 22:27:27 +0100

After writing my original blog post, I’m absolutely astonished to see how viral this video has gone. Despite YouTube constantly trying to pull it down, the original video that sparked all of this hasn’t been allowed to die. Now Casey Heynes, aka The Zangief Kid, gives an interview on an Australian television show, A Current Affair, about the video and a brief view into his life.

There is also this interview that was made with the bully that Casey took down. I’ve dealt with bullies enough in my life and seen them try to weasel there way out of a situation once they realize that they’ve really screwed up and have been caught doing it, so I have a hard time having sympathy for the kid. Certainly the nasty comments that are being directed at him are not necessary, but he clearly doesn’t feel sorry and his own story seems fabricated at best.

Like any good viral video, there have been a lot of remixes made of the videos. Be sure to check some of them out, they’re pretty well made. Here are some funny images I found, though:

Many more images and videos of it all at Know Your Meme.

A week in stars (Mar 14 - Mar 20)

Sun, 20 Mar 2011 22:39:41 +0100

@iwona_w
“Was macht denn Deine Mama da am Handy?” - “Wahrscheinlich schießt sie mit den Vögeln die Schweine ab.” - “Achso”. Gespräche 5jähriger. (“What is your mom doing with her cell phone?” - “Probably shooting pigs with birds.” - “Aha” Discussions between 5-year olds)

@cammyrobb
Ahahaha I love my girl! I said “A wild bus appears!” She said “Cameron uses board!”. If that’s not marriage material I don’t know what is.

@Modern_Redneck
Just passed a title loan business with a ‘now accepting new customers’ sign. Are they like doctors?

@peshkira
Do you want a new display? if yes: nail here ——>[X]

@bramcohen
“I’m doing a startup” is the new “I’m in a band”

@chuck_facts
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Bruce Lee, breaking him in half. The result was Jet Li and Jackie Chan.

@DorisChristinaS
Kollege bezeichnet mich als seine Korrektur-Fee, meine Kollegin als Rechtschreib-Mafia. Männer sind netter. (Male colleague calls me his Correction Fairy. Female colleague the Grammar Mafia. Men are nicer.)

@skoops
die grosse schlacht um cameltoe (The Great Battle of Cameltoe)

@skoops
es gibt menschen denen sollte man unverzüglich die lebensberechtigung entziehen #dumbamerican http://t.co/ONEEBI (There are people who should just lose the right to live.)

@BorowitzReport
I thought they were showing the Supermoon on CNN but it turned out to be John McCain’s head.

@mrgan
Smart Cover + Shake to Undo = lol: http://db.tt/q5VitY3