I have to say that I absolutely love Austria. Not everything about it, but there are certainly a lot more pros than cons. Let’s talk about one of those cons today, though: customer service.
Let me first start by apologizing. There really is no way to be nice about this subject matter. Austrians have no concept of the idea of customer service, especially when it comes to customer service in Vienna. Certainly outside of Vienna the quality of service improves by a great magnitude, but it’s really just a relative improvement. To illustrate my point, allow me to recall a few stories since I have been in Vienna.
The first one was quite recent. I had gone to the register at one of my local grocery stores (grocery stores are often the pits of hell in Vienna when addressing the subject of customer service) and after the young cashier had scanned all of my things she just looked at me. I asked her what it had all come out to and what I owed her for the food as I could not see her screen and the total. She grunted out some number and I asked her how much a smile would cost. Did she comprehend what I had asked? Nope. Just replied with a grunt. I’m beginning to think some of the grocery stores are employing zombies and just dressing them up with make-up and hoping no one notices.
Another time I was at one of the largest electronic stores in Vienna and was wanting to buy a laptop. I had the money in hand (figuratively speaking) and didn’t want to ask questions, just wanted the box so I could go to the register. Short of pulling the cash out of my wallet and waving it around I did all I could to try and get someone’s attention. I had contemplated lighting something on fire to see if that would get a rise out of the sales personnel walking around but figured that would probably get me in trouble with my girlfriend and thus decided it against it. After about thirty minutes (in America I would have just left and gone to the place down the road) of gesturing and foaming at the mouth with rage I was finally informed that the last of those laptops had just been sold. Fabulous. The salesman immediately turned away and I stopped him and informed him that I had another question which was replied in kind with a grunt (zombie!). I asked him if he could perhaps check if one of the others had any in stock and he said he would have to call and ask and I asked him if he could please do that for me. Do you know what his response was? “Why? They’re not going to pick up anyway.” At this point I just turned around and walked away in disbelief. So much for that professional education that these salespeople in Austria complete so they can work at such a job.
Then you have the waiters and waitresses at restaurants. I think they are perhaps the most appalling of all individuals in the service industry in Austria. I would love to be able to give large tips and show off how gratuitous I am but in Vienna there really would never be just cause to do so because of the quality of service. It’s a wonder that some people even bother to tip at all. I suppose those that do just don’t know any better. I’ve sat in restaurants for over a quarter of an hour and never been served and this happens quite often. It’s not uncommon to have to ask if I am allowed to order something or if that’s forbidden in this particular establishment.
Now, I know these are only three small anecdotes, but I don’t think I need to go through all my experiences with the walking dead that populate the Austrian service industry. The only places that I’ve come across in Austria where the human resource departments haven’t begun to rely on zombie slave labor are banks. I suppose that here they realize that they actually need to be nice so that way people bring large sums of money and invest it rather than going to an impersonal zombie who only is thinking about how your brain might taste. Going to a bank in Austria is quite a nice experience, but then going to any bank is usually a pleasant experience. It really is the only industry that I’ve seen internationally that understands the value of a smile and a clean appearance.
When going grocery shopping at most establishments in the United States you’ll find that there is always an overly happy employee that will bag your groceries and is always ready to take them to your car. It doesn’t matter if you only have one bag, they’ll offer to take it to the car. This is mostly because they’re required to, but nonetheless, they do it. It really is quite nice. The best part is that this service is offered free of charge with no pressure to tip afterwards (though most people do)! What a concept. Service!
Even when I go to McDonald’s or any other fast food establishment back home I am always greeted with a smile. Certainly in some cases the friendliness is empty and superficial, but often you do find people who genuinely care about making sure you feel welcome. If you feel welcome, you’ll come again. If you come again, you’ll spend money. If you spend money, they’ll likely get to keep their job. Look at it this way: the more you smile, the more muscle movement you perform. The more you move your muscles, the more calories your body burns. Smiling could lead to significant weight loss. An interesting thought. Any scientists want to put that theory to the test?
Back home if you were to go out to a restaurant that does not serve their food wrapped in paper you’ll find that you are instantly on a first name basis with your waiter or waitress and the two of you are the greatest of friends. It’s amazing. I mean, I’ve met some real brown nosers but the waiters and waitresses in the US are the best. If there was an Olympic sport for kissing ass, Team USA would win every medal and the Austrians wouldn’t even bother showing up. And you know what? I like it like that. Certainly it can be a bit annoying if you have that waiter that is a bit TOO enthusiastic, as if he’s maybe just done a few lines of cocaine before coming to my table, but often the simple friendliness and politeness makes the meal taste so much better (that and the lack of cigarette smoke).
I’m convinced, though, that if an establishment were to open in Austria that focused more on service and that employee-to-customer contact you would see that business flourish. Even if the prices were a bit higher that simple interaction would bring in more customers than any form of advertising. There’s a reason that Hooters is one of the most successful franchises in the world: they combine sex and customer service and have annual bikini contests. That’s it, I’m reopening a Hooters in Vienna and bringing over some blond-headed California chicks. See ya later!
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