@iwona_w
Danke open office, Du Arsch, dass ich jetzt eine Stunde lang UMSONST an einer Präsentation gearbeitet habe. (Thanks Open Office, you ass, I’ve sat here for an hour for NOTHING working on a presentation!)
@nordlysjenta
They would’t hire me. I’m not a nice person :P I’m Norwegian: I don’t smile, don’t ask, I just wave my axe around :D
@hdrr_at
Bekannter erzählt mir ganz stolz er fliegt 3 Tage nach Hamburg & macht Seminar wo er lernt wir man wirklich reich wird. Kostet 800 Euro. (Acquaintance tells me proudly how he’s flying for 3 days to Hamburg and is doing a seminar where he will learn how one becomes truly rich. Costs 800 Euro.)
@jennnnie
Why is a 3% tax increase on the richest considered “socialism” but a 14% pay cut on the middle class is “doing your part?”
@pyrker
Al-Gaddafi is the new Comical Ali.
@stefan
Ein MacBook Air ist ein Notebook für Menschen die nicht selbst arbeiten müssen sondern andere für sich arbeiten lassen. (A Macbook Air is a notebook for people that don’t have to work themselves because they let others work for them.)
@ralfheimann
Google ist manchmal echt ein Arschloch. http://twitpic.com/44zqjl
@Modern_Redneck
40 boxes of girl scout cookies in the car. Will either give then all away or gain 20 pounds by noon.
@depreciated
My parents just got their first computer. Nigeria, go easy on my inheritance.
@ssup_dude
Skinny girls think they’re chubby.. Chubby girls think they’re fat.. Fat girls think they’re obese & obese girls think they’re super models.
@fleshcake
Just went too deep with a Q-Tip and now I can’t do math.
@Vergraemer
“Oha, die Chemie zwischen uns stimmt gar nicht.” “Egal. Wenn die Fußgängerampel grün ist, sehen wir uns eh nie wieder.” “Hoffen wir’s.” (“Ah, the chemistry between us isn’t right at all.” - “Doesn’t matter. When the crosswalk turns green, we’ll never see each other again.” - “We can only hope.”)
@JudyBott
If we can put one man on the moon, then why not all of them?
@Modern_Redneck
Great thing about being a redneck in the advertising business. Some days it’s okay to have a beer at 8am.
@littleliongirl
“es ist bereits märz. nimm ab.” (“It’s already March. Lose weight.”)
@CharlieeSheen
When cocaine wants to party, it does Charlie Sheen.
@CharlieSheeny
Some may say 69 is nasty….I call it a romantic dinner for 2.
@StevenUndefined
“If you are racist, sexist, homophobic or just basically an asshole, I don’t care if you like me, or not. I fucking hate you.” - Kurt Cobain
